My life is great. I don’t need to be a pessimist. Bad things generally don’t happen to me, really. But I’m always expecting the worst and thinking bad things that are practically illogical.
I guess it’s so I don’t get my hopes up. I don’t want bad things to ruin the good. I’d rather be pleasantly surprised than be crushed.
It was morning or noon or whatever time I woke up in the summer.
And my cat was staring intently at the wall and I looked to see what she was looking at and there was a centipede near the ceiling walking along the wall and I was skeeved out but it was too high for me to reach and murder.
So I watched it and watched it and it got closer to my bed and turned a corner and was near my bed and walked onto the ceiling. And I was staring at it.
And then because it’s a stupid fucking bug it fell from the ceiling to my bed because gravity.
My mother always says she’ll never forget my “blood-curdling scream” at that.
And believe me, I won’t either. I screamed my head off and ran out of my room screaming and kept screaming until I calmed down.
…That’s really weird, I know.
I’ve been doing it since i was a kid, I dunno why.
Whenever I would go to a hardware store with my parents, I would just go to the paint section and collect as many paint samples as I could and put them in the cart and take them home with me.
And I would look at them and sort them and admire how nice they were.
And I had samples for counter tops and samples for textured stuff and wood samples and all kinds of things.
I haven’t been in awhile but I have two shoeboxes completely full of them. Part of my room has them on my wall because I really do think I have enough to cover all the white space on my walls.
And not on flat terrain, either.
It was in the mountains in Maine.
And it was awesome.
I was fifteen at the time. I’d like to see how much I could do now. Maybe I’ll do a bike marathon or something one day.
It just pisses me off vehemently. I can’t stand it.
I don’t care if it’s goddamn Christmas Eve, I don’t want to hear it.
I get even more annoyed when I hear it way in advance, like when I heard it in CVS at the very beginning of October. It makes me so annoyed and I want to rip the speakers blaring that shit out of whatever they are in and smash them to bits.
I own a lot of grey.
It’s very neutral and goes with everything and brings out my eyes.
Magenta/fuchsia also brings out my eyes and I like that one too. So does teal.
But I only like indicolite tourmaline.
And I’m picky about it, too.
It can’t be too blue or too green. It needs to be perfectly in between.
This is too blue. This is too green. This is about right.
I want my engagement ring to either have a tourmaline stone instead of a diamond or the diamond flanked by two tourmaline stones.
Lol is that weird?
Like job applications, medical papers, contests and competitions, etc.
By hand though, not online. I like writing out information. I think it’s something about organization that makes me like it, idk.
I sat out in my yard from like 11 pm to three or four in the morning, wearing clothes under pjs with socks and boots and a coat and scarf and hat and gloves and a blanket.
It was so cold. It was terrible.
And it was cloudy but I really wanted to try to see even though I had school the next morning.
I didn’t see anything and was upset and froze my ass off for nothing.
Not so much little dogs or puppies as medium/large dogs.
But I’ve always been scared of dogs. I don’t know why. I just always have been.
As a kid I was afraid of a Yorkie puppy. This tiny little thing, the size of like a shoe, and I was scared of it.
When I try to think of it I’m basically scared of their nails and teeth and disgusting slobber - mostly that last part. And the loud barking and ugh.
They’re not so different from cats, though. Cats have sharp teeth that bite (mine chewed me up bad as kittens) and definitely nails (omg all the clawing on my legs and arms and back jfc) and they lick but there’s no slobber and they’re not loud.
Idk dogs make me uncomfortable. My friend has a border collie mix and he’s a neurotic weirdo and is pretty damn nice when he’s not riled up and barking. But I still get kind of intimidated around him even though I spent a week living at her house lol and I’ve been there often enough and after first sniff he walks away.
Also, in the sixth grade, a little after I moved here, a neighbor I was playing with along with my then-bff had her cousin’s dog for the day or something and it was a black lab and it tackled me into a snowpile.
Forever traumatized.
